ABASH: A high school graduation party.
ACCOUNT: A Countess's husband.
ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
ANTIQUE: An item your grandparents bought, your parents got rid of, and you're buying again.
BATHROOM: A room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mom to be self-cleaning.
BEAUTY PARLOR: Places where women curl up and dye.
BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
CAR SICKNESS: The feeling you get when the car payment is due.
CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
CLASSIC: A book which people praise, but do not read.
COMPROMISE: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
CONTROL (kon'-trol): A short, ugly inmate.
DICTIONARY: A place where success comes before work.
DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
DIVORCE: Future tense of marriage.
DOCTOR: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
EXPERIENCE : The name men give to their mistakes.
FATHER: A banker provided by nature.
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