what the cop should not say to the person who he catches.!
15). "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch out after you wear them awhile."
14). "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate
a worthless document."
13). "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
12). "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't
know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."
11). "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I
can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
10). "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think
it will help. Oh... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
9). "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that
again or I'll give you another ticket."
. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
7). "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go
to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey crap."
6). "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."
5). "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
4). "Just how big were those two beers?"
3). "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now
we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
2). "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of
yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
And the best one . . . . .
1). "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
don't. Sign here."
WHAT SHOULD NOT BE SAID TO THE COP
1)i cant reach my license unless you hold my beer
2)sorry officer i didnt realize my radar detector was unpluged
3)arnet you the guy from the village
4)hey you must've been doin about 150 to keep up good job!
5)are you andy or barney
6)i thought you had to be in realitivly good condition to be a police officer
7)your not gonna check the trunk are you?
8)i pay your salary
9)gee officer thats great the last officer only gave me a warning to!
10)driver:do you know why you pulled me over?
officer:yes
driver:good as long as one of us does
11)driver:i was trying to keep up with traffic
officer:there arent any cars around
driver:i know thats how far ahead of me they are
Home 
